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An amazingly sad thing happened on the other day.

I had talked in kinda' strong dialect which I thought he understood very much.
I'd come to trust him because I thought he understood what I think, what I wanna say, nuances and stuff more than anybody else.
So I'd believed.

BUT!!!
Recently he said to me,
" Why do you sound angry?"

WHAT???

I am NOT angry.
Maybe a bit tired everyday.
Maybe a bit sad sometimes.
But never angry.


I heard something collapsed then outright.
Something that I had strongly believed.
The truth is he hadn't been getting what I really meant.
I decided not to talk with him in the dialect any more.
The dialect gave us a chance to get to know each other but not any longer.
What I'm afraid of speaking in the dialect is that people misunderstand me and take me as a scary or angry person.
I thought it would never ever happen with us.
But it did〜.
Sayang...

I've been speaking in the common(standard) language for last 2 days.
Tears comes up sometimes.
I feel we are now far far away from each other.
However, from his point of view, he might had had a language problem for long without telling me because my language is not his mother tongue at all.
I didn't change my way of talking from the beginning.
I counted on him too much.

Let's think that I'm talking in a foreign language with which I cannot talk 100% freely.
I know a lot of couples talking to each other in English which is neither's mother tongue.
We are just like those couples.
I had been dreaming somehow.